Chapter Sixty-seven

The tour was going amazing. A few shows into it, he was feeling incredible. The audience loved every performance, even the new songs were accepted wonderfully.

Not all the songs were exactly what he liked but they were good songs. With his solo album he had been able to go all out, create every feeling he wanted to express and he thought that had been very successful but this was a band's album, where he didn't have as much power. Jon had the last word on every song. That's how it always was and how it would always be. He didn't mind it. The album was good but if it were up to him, he would have handled it a different way.

Next month they'd see what the audience thought about it. Soon enough they'd find out how good the music was by how well it sold in stores.

His first single was as a bonus on the new album. Hopefully that would lead to people buying his solo album after liking Every Road. For now, he waited until he could finally play it during a concert. The band had agreed on doing so but so far Jon hadn't allowed him yet. Another case of wait and see.

After talking to Sarah and talking to Daniel without a reaction, Richie got ready to leave to the venue. He had talked to Sarah about what was bothering him and Sarah had convinced him to just ask Jon. Just ask. Nothing bad could happen from asking, the worst would be if Jon said no. Again.

As usual on tour, he shared a dressing room with everyone except Jon. Jon had his own private room. They didn't mind as much anymore as when Jon first got his own dressing room. Now they had some peace and quiet before a show instead of their boss telling them to make sure they played right, did everything right and were preparing for the concert in a correct way. It was huge stress reliever to have Jon in a different room.

But today, with the question on his mind, it became a lot more stressful.

"What's up?" David plopped down on the couch next to him.
"Thinking."
"About?" David inquired.
Richie sighed. "I want to ask Jon again if I can play one of my songs."
David frowned. "Why?"
"Cause I like my song?"
"I know, it's a great song but you know he'll say no."
Richie waved it off. "Nah, I got to play my other solo songs too."
"Ages ago." David pointed out kindly.
"Exactly, been ages, so why wouldn't he let me play my song? Just during the time he goes backstage to change. Just like on the last few tours where I sing a song anyway."
"Go for it."

Richie nodded and got up from the couch. He needed to ask, it was the only way to find out and he needed to know now so he could prepare himself. On previous tours he had been allowed to play one of his solo songs once in a while so why wouldn't he now? He'd been singing during Jon's break on the last two tours. Instead of singing a Bon Jovi song, he could just sing his own song. Easy as that.

He knocked on Jon's dressing room door and waited for Jon to let him in.

Surprisingly, Jon came to open the door. He had only expected Jon to call that the door was open but this worked just fine too. Following Jon's invitation, he sat down on the couch.

Jon sat down in a chair, leaning back and putting up his feet on the coffee table.

Richie decided to ask the question straight forward.

"I wanted to know when I get to sing again."
"What do you mean?" Jon frowned. "You got to sing at one of those shows in Canada."
"Yes but during the last two tours you let me sing while you went backstage to cool down and change."
"So?"
Richie frowned at his carelessness. "I kinda assumed we'd still be doing that." He wasn't so sure about it anymore.
"Why would we?"
A little dumbstruck, he didn't know what to say for a few seconds and had to thought about an answer. "Because we've been doing it like that for years and the fans love it?"
Jon stood up from the chair and looked down at Richie. "You had your solo stint, now is the band's time. You need to focus on the band more instead of thinking about yourself."
"I am thinking about the band and you. You'd get to take your break and I sing a song like it's been for years."
"Yeah..." Jon paused. "We can't do that anymore."
"Why not?"
"Why should we, you're a guitar player after all. Just do what you do with Bobby, see who plays guitar best. That's what we used to do in the 80s when Alec was still around."
"So I don't get to sing at all?" Richie asked.
Jon shook his head. "No and it's not like I let you sing that often before either."
Richie got up from the couch, ready to leave. "Often enough." He said disappointed but didn't let on. "We'll do it your way, that's probably better anyway. I gotta go get ready."

Without waiting for Jon to answer him again, Richie walked out of the room. He didn't agree with Jon's way but he wasn't about to argue about it with his best friend. It wasn't worth it. Maybe it was but it wasn't that important. After all, it was his job to play guitar and do background vocals. They had never agreed in a contract that he got to sing one song every so often. Jon was right, the shows would be just fine the way they were. His fans loved to hear him play guitar and that's what he was going to do, along with Bobby.

He went back to the dressing room to get ready for the show and go over the setlist with everybody else.

Back in the dressing room, he noticed David waited for an answer but didn't ask about it.

Richie went to his own little corner of the room where he got ready, picking out what to wear.

He'd just do a guitar battle with Bobby at the end of Keep The Faith, that's what the setlist said and by now it was too late to change that. He had been able to sing one song, a few days ago. If he was just patient, Jon would most likely let him do that again later in the tour. They were only starting out, everything still needed to unfold until they figured out the best way to use the new songs and still use the hits and the popular songs. Patience.

Chapter Sixty-six

After another successful concert, Richie and the rest of the band returned to the hotel together. In the morning they'd move on to the next city but tonight they were staying here. It was a lot less stressful if they traveled in the morning. Now they could at least go to sleep in a comfortable bed.

Once they reached their floor, Richie said good night to everyone and went to his own room. As usual it took a while before everything really quietened down on the floor.

He changed his clothes and found his cell phone to call his wife before going to bed. Time difference was still working in their favor, he was an hour ahead of home. Midnight for him but 11 pm for Sarah. Technically it was a different day for him.

As Sarah answered the phone, he could hear crying on the other end.

"A second." Sarah said.

Richie continued to listen how she was trying to sooth Daniel and make him calm down again. He felt bad hearing his son cry like that. The boy sounded so upset that nothing his mother did could help him. Ever worse, there wasn't anything he could do about it. The only thing he could do was listen to Daniel cry.

Finally Daniel settled down and Sarah answered the phone again.

"Hey, sorry about that." She apologized.
"It's alright. What's got him so upset?"
Sarah shrugged, "I have no idea, he's just had a really bad day today."
Richie frowned, worrying about his son. "But nothing that makes it clear why?"
"No. He's just moody. He's fine now. Think he'll go to sleep now."
"That's good, he can probably use it after being that loud."

Richie continued to listen to Sarah talking about her day and everyone at home.

So far everything was still alright, no trouble anywhere. Everyone went to school. Sarah's school books had arrived and she was trying to learn whenever she could. He felt immensely proud as he listened to Sarah explain everything she had read about so far. Daniel was learning to keep himself busy with toys or his stuffed animals, which provided Sarah with the time to read her school books. She had been right, it would work out fine.

Half way through the leg of the tour, only three more weeks and he'd be home again. He was looking forward to it already.

Before he had a chance to talk about his own day, it was getting late for both of them.

"I'll phone you back tomorrow." Richie promised.
"I'll be waiting for you call. I love you." Sarah said gently.
"I love you too." He missed being able to say it in person but over the phone would have to do for now. "Good night." He added.
"You too, sleep tight."
Richie chuckled. "I still need to shower."
"Shower? Are you going to think about me?"
"Sarah, honey," He said seriously, "I always think about you."
Sarah sighed. "I miss you." She said softly.
"I miss you too. Only three more week and I'll be there."
"Yeah." Sarah agreed but she knew he'd have to leave again afterwards.

They finally ended their phonecall and Richie got up from the bed. He had changed into clean clothes but he still needed a shower or his hair would never look decent in the morning after being so sweaty.

In the bathroom he turned on the shower, making sure the water was warm enough before he started undressing. As he pulled his shirt over his head, Sarah's words rang through his mind. He always thought about her, he could picture her lovely face before him.

His pants followed the shirt to the floor, kicking his clothes aside, he got a towel to lay by the shower for when he finished.

The water temperature was just right as he stepped into the shower. He stood under the shower head, letting the water stream down his body. It felt good and relaxing. But also lonely without Sarah.

Sharing a shower with his wife was always better than taking one alone. When he closed his eyes, he could see her standing in front of him, showering too. Even if it was his imagination, she looked as beautiful as ever. Every little thing about her, he loved it. All of it.

He let his imagination play, watching Sarah soap up her body in front of him.

Directing his imagination in another way, he watched Sarah soap up his body. He could almost really feel her soft hands on his skin.

Until he realized, it were his own hands which weren't as soft as Sarah's. Despite that, he didn't stop the imaginative play that was going on in his mind. He let Sarah's hand roam over his body tenderly. She always had that special way of doing it, almost making it seem like a massage as she spread the soap over his body.

His own hand caught up with Sarah's imaginary hand as she moved it over his belly, over his hip, to his groin.

It was just imagination but he definitely wasn't going to stop anymore now. His body wouldn't allow him that. He needed to finish it.

Following his fantasy wife, he moves his hand as she did.

It had been ages since he had to do it alone but with picturing Sarah doing it for him, it wasn't so bad.

He followed every move that his wife made in his mind, stroking him just the way he liked it. She was an expert at it even though she had missed years of practice, she had caught up exceptionally fast.

Fantasying every touch and sound Sarah would make made his climax approach rapidly.

His eyes shot open as he released against his own wet skin. The soap vanished from his mind, along with the real white streaks that had just ended up on his body and the shower floor. He watched it all wash away. Sarah was gone from his mind.

With the realization that he was still alone, he sighed and reached for soap and washed his hands before continuing to wash his hair and the rest of his body.

Afterwards, he retrieved the towel he had left within reach. After turning off the water, he wrapped it around him and stepped out of the shower. He dried off before picking up his clothes and taking them to the bedroom where he put them over a chair for the next day.

Using the towel, he dried his hair some more. With a glance at the alarm clock, he knew it was the middle of the night. Hopefully Sarah was sleeping by now. He missed her. Most importantly, he needed to get some sleep.

Once completely dried off, he dropped the towel to the floor and got into the large bed. When he closed his eyes, Sarah was back.

Chapter Sixty-five

Valentine's day. He loved Valentine's day. He loved making his wife happy and surprising her with gifts every day of the year but Valentine's made it even more special.

Except, this year he wasn't home. He was over 2000 miles away from home, away from his wife. His entire family.

But he was having fun on tour. Touring was always fun, except for the moments when he missed home, apart from that, he loved every bit about it.

Specially for Valentine's day, the setlist today was a little different. They always played the love ballads but today had an extra one. He liked that Jon had made the decision. The audience would like that too, make it a real Valentine's day special for them. The crowd being happy, was the most important thing in their job after all.

His phone pulled him away from his thoughts, he answered it.

"Why have there been three different delivery guys at the door?" Sarah asked him confused.
"Only three?" Richie asked, just as confused.
"Were there supposed to be more?"
His quick reaction a few seconds ago gave away his surprise and now he didn't know how to save it before Sarah found out.
"Well?"
"I'm not sure. What did they deliver?"
"The first one delivered roses this morning. Then an hour later another guy showed up with a really cute teddy bear, a big one, you know? After him, a guy brought me a box of chocolates." She explained to him how it had happened.
"Oh. How big was the bear?"
"I don't know, like 30 inches. Does it matter?"
"It might." He avoided the question.
"Does it?" Sarah insisted an answer.
"No."
"Then why did you ask?" Sarah asked confused by her husband.
"Cause I'm interested in the bear. Did you like the bear?" He really needed to know, more were on the way. He wouldn't be able to cancel them in time.
"You're a tease. It's a very cute bear. I think I'll keep it in our bed."
Richie nodded, he could already imagine 5 different sized teddy bears in their bed when he got home in a month. "It can stay there 'til I get home."
"Why? I like my teddy bear, I want to sleep with it every day."
"But then I'd be home."
Sarah answered him in a serious tone of voice but was still going along with the teasing. "But you're not a teddy bear, honey."
"Sure I could be, I'm all nice and warm and cuddly. Not stuffed with fluff but still cuddly and all filled out nicely."
Sarah laughed out loud. "You're a perfect teddy bear to cuddle with. Thank you for all the gifts." Her husband couldn't see it but she was smiling brightly at how thoughtful he had been even if he was in a different country. She really did have the best husband in the world, it still amazed her.
"No problem." He wasn't done with gifts yet but Sarah didn't need to know.
"Are there more coming?"
She didn't need to know that. "Who knows."
"Thanks anyway. I love you and I miss you."
Richie smiled softly, thinking about how Sarah would look right now. "I love you too and I miss you very much, especially today. I really wish I could have done something special with you today."
"Other than overload me with gifts?"
"Yes, although that's very good too, I still would have wanted to take you out for a nice dinner. Just us."
She really had the best husband in the world. "I know, we'll do that later. I'm not sure if I would want to leave Daniel with anybody just yet." Even if it was her own mother of her mother in law, Daniel was too young to be without his mother. Even for a few hours.
He understood that, before going on tour he didn't want to leave Daniel either, he just didn't have another choice. "We'll just do it after the tour, two months late." He suggested.
"It's perfectly fine. No reason to put a date on when to show somebody you love them."

He smiled at that, she was exactly right. After the tour he'd take her out for a romantic dinner, just the two of them, all alone. He loved her every day, not only the fourteenth of February. He'd make sure she knew that perfectly well when they'd go on their date. That gave him something to do while being on tour. Plan a date with Sarah and finish arranging their spring break vacation. Of course it would be Hawaii but they needed a place that would have everything that Daniel would need.

During the rest of his phone call, he asked Sarah the usual questions. How everybody was doing, especially how Ava and Daniel were doing. Daniel was still his chipper self, happy wherever he was. Only two weeks ago he had finally stopped crying when his grandma Joan picked him up. A relief for everybody. The baby boy was very sweet but it was starting to worry them. Now that he had stopped, they didn't need to worry anymore.

At least it was one less thing he needed to worry about while he wasn't home. He didn't always mean to worry but being so far from home and not able to see everybody, he couldn't help it. Knowing that everything was alright at home, was very important to him. Anybody away from home would agree with him. He hoped. It wasn't that abnormal to worry about your loved ones, the rest of the band probably worried about their families too.

Sarah hadn't heard from Ava so far and Richie assumed everything was alright for now. He talked to his daughter every other day, more than he usually did on tour but he felt like Ava needed it at the moment.

He finished all his phone calls before he had to get ready to perform. Afterwards it would be too late, except for Sarah. He needed to let her know the show was over and that he was going to bed. He just needed to tell her good night and that he loved her. Maybe he needed to hear that from her too.

Chapter Sixty-four

With only a week before he'd go on tour, Richie dedicated every day to his children. He made special efforts to take them to school, pick them up and drive them anywhere they wanted. Often that made it a little difficult. He'd drive to the school to pick them up at 3pm but usually one of them had an after school club, so by the time he was home to drop the first two off, he only had 30 minutes before he had to drive back to pick up the last one. He didn't mind, it was time spent together.

He picked up Ava from cheer-leading after bringing Noah and Caleb home. Just like he had done with Noah the day before, they made a detour to Ava's favorite food place. This time she picked Starbucks and they both got a drink for the way home.

While driving, Ava talked non-stop. He loved listening to Ava. She talked about what her friends had done and often he still had to think which name went with which face. Ava had so many friends, it was hard to keep track off but she sounded so happy while talking and that was all that really mattered to him. His children being happy.

At home Sarah was preparing dinner, another thing he loved. Two years ago nobody was home to make dinner for him. He loved that Sarah wanted to do that for all of them. He didn't thank her often enough. As Ava went upstairs, Richie walked into the kitchen. Daniel was sitting in his bouncer seat, looking up at everything around him. Richie stepped up behind his wife, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.

"Thanks for making dinner."
Sarah turned around in his arms and reached up to kiss his lips. "It's your favorite."
"Thought I smelled it. Thanks."

He let her go and crouched down next to Daniel so Sarah could continue to cook without letting anything burn.

"How's Danny been?"
"Just fine. He's been bouncing there. Makes him laugh."

Softly he made the chair bounce, Sarah was right, it made Daniel laugh out loud. It was cute to see how Daniel had figured out how to make the chair bounce and rock. He wished he could capture every second of Daniel's life but knew that wasn't possible. With his phone's camera he continued to make Daniel laugh to get the cutest picture.


The next day Richie remembered a promise he and Sarah had made in the summer. It was time to finally live up to that promise. With Daniel in mind, he thought of the possibilities. He knew Sarah wouldn't mind because her sons wanted it so much.

After driving everyone to school, he started his search which turned out very successful in the end.

Afterwards, he walked back in the house with two pet carrier boxes.

Sarah looked up when he walked into the living room, she frowned. "What did you get?"
"What we promised Noah and Caleb when we were at your cousin's ranch."
Confused, Sarah frowned even more. "What did we promise them?"
"Cats." He carefully put the carriers down on the floor. "I got everything we need for them. Noah and Caleb will be so happy."
"Serious?" Sarah got up and put Daniel in his play pen.
"Yeah." He opened the first box but the cat was too shy to get out so he opened the other box. "Apparently they were found at an abandoned house together."
Sarah got down on the floor next to him, looking into the boxes. "So which one is for who?"
"Not sure, the people just wanted to keep these two together so that's why I got them."

After a little while the cats slowly got out of their boxes and started looking around.

Leaving them to explore the house, Richie got up to take his son from the playpen. He'd have to drive to school again in a little while so now was the time to spend with Daniel. His baby boy was growing a lot. At three and a half months old, he was doing everything a baby was supposed to do except reacting when they called him.

Daniel didn't care if his name was called by anyone, he didn't look in the direction of the sound. Nights were getting longer as Daniel didn't wake up anymore in the middle of the night. He easily slept a solid 7 hours a night. Which Richie loved but Sarah loved even more. No night time feedings anymore.

Before leaving, Richie gave Daniel one of the toys that he could hold on his own and got up again. He gave Sarah a kiss and made sure no cats were hiding by the door before he left.


Noah and Caleb's reactions were perfect but not how Richie had expected them to find out. He thought the cats would be roaming around the house. Instead, one of them was sleeping on the carpet with Daniel, the other was sleeping on the couch.

"I don't want you to go." Sarah said a few days later when they woke up on the day Richie had to leave for Washington.
"I know." He answered and hugged his wife. "It's only five weeks."
"Five weeks is long." Sarah pointed out.
He didn't know how to disagree to that and kissed his wife instead.
"I'll be all alone with Daniel."
"Mom will still help you out."
"Not the same." Sarah moved closer into his arms.
"We'll talk every day. Time differences aren't that much yet and we can video chat. One of the concerts will probably will be streamed so you and Daniel can watch me."
Sarah nodded, it wasn't the same that way but that would have to do.

Since they had been together, Richie hadn't had to leave for such a long time at once. For the last few months of the previous tour, Sarah was able to accompany him. During his solo tour he was only gone for two weeks but now he would be gone for over a month. They'd never been apart that long.

It was Friday morning, the last day of school before the weekend. The concert wasn't until Sunday but there were still rehearsals too.

Richie had thought Friday would be the easiest day to leave. Ava would go to her mom's after school anyway. That way he thought it was easier for Ava.

The opposite proved right. It had been years since Ava didn't want to let him go on tour and it surprised him this time. It hurt him that he didn't know what caused this change so suddenly. He didn't understand what was making it so difficult to say goodbye. His daughter was a big girl now. 15 year-olds weren't supposed to cry anymore.

It was easier to say goodbye to Caleb and Noah, it was different with them. Daniel didn't seem to mind much at all. He was too young to understand it all.

Chapter Sixty-three

Whenever time difference worked out for them, Sarah and Richie talked over the phone. Only once they wee lucky enough Daniel was still awake to videochat. Of course the baby didn't understand the concept but Richie was happy enough to see his son all the way from Germany.

Tomorrow he'd be home again. The short European promotional tour was over and everything was set for next summer. He was looking forward to it all but in another way he wasn't. He hoped Ava would be alright with it but he also didn't want to miss all the milestones Daniel was about to make in his life. There'd be a ton more later in life but watching him roll, sit, crawl, walk and even talk were very important steps to a parent.

In the evening, the band boarded the plane back to the US. They'd only fly as far as New York City and Richie would get connection to Los Angeles on his own. He was used to that and didn't mind the few hours flight by himself. It also gave him some peace and quiet away from everybody.

A few hours later, he arrived back home. It was only afternoon, he'd have time to spend with his family. He'd drop off his luggage, say hi to everybody and then go see Ava. He was determined to spend all the time he could with her while he was still home for another month.

He walked into the house quietly, being sure Daniel was having a nap at this time.

Sarah heard him from the living room and got up to meet him by the door.

"You're home." She said with a brilliant smile.
He put his bags down and wrapped his arms around his wife. "Missed you."
"I missed you too, I'm so glad you're home now." She hugged him back, then reached up to kiss him.

Richie kissed back passionately, it had only been a few days but he had missed his wife a lot. Returning to her always felt good.

"So what's that idea you got?" He asked as their kiss ended.
Sarah smiled. "I'll show you." She took his hand and pulled him to the living room where she made him sit down. "I know you gave me a laptop so I could use it for school but then I didn't go to school so what if I do that now?"
"Go to school? But Daniel?"
"Not go to school, distance learning. I'd get all the books at home or online and then I can study on my own in my own time."
"Really?" Richie asked interested.
"I could study while Daniel's napping or in the evening when everyone is home and looking after him too."
Richie nodded, understanding how she was about to take everything on. "What are you going to study?" He knew she had wanted to be a doctor but medical studies on her own would be very hard.
"Early childhood development." Sarah answered with a bright smile. "I'd learn everything about children til the age of twelve. I'd be learning how Daniel develops, what he should be able to do at a certain age, how to encourage him to learn things, when to know he's behind on the guidelines."
Richie frowned. "He's behind on things?"
Sarah shook her head and smiled again. "No, he's even early on starting to roll and he's finally getting used to your mom."
"And you're sure you don't want to take this course just because you're worried about him." Richie asked skeptical.
Sarah shrugged a little. "Maybe but if I do go back to work when he's older or something, I could work with other children too. I could work at a playschool or a toddler group."
"Okay." Richie nodded. "If that's what you want to do, go ahead. Even if you're just worried about Daniel, nothing wrong with learning something new."
Reaching over to her husband, Sarah smiled again and kissed him. "Thanks, course money is only like ten grand."
Money wasn't an issue for him but that did seem a lot. "Seriously?"
"No. Just wanted to see your reaction to that. Was funny." She kissed him again, then snuggled into him.
"Now if only Caleb would make up his mind about college."
That reminded Sarah of something they talked about earlier. "Few days ago he found the Academy of Arts."
"What's that?"
"Seemed really neat, he was considering studying to make music for movies but he's not sure if he really wants to make music his job or keep it as a hobby." Sarah explained, she knew what her son loved to do but also understood that it was a very hard choice to make. It would be the base of his entire life.
Richie frowned. "Music? Last week he was thinking about social work."
Sarah looked up at him. "Social work?"
"Yeah, said he wanted to work for child welfare. Help kids that are in difficult situations at home." He explained. When Caleb had told him, he had encouraged it, thinking that was what Sarah would want and it would be a very nice career to help children.
"That's something I'd expect from Noah. I know Caleb cares a lot, he just likes to act though around everyone but that would be a very nice to make a career out of."
Richie agreed and cuddled his wife again. "He'll make his mind up. Whatever he picks, he can study as long as it's what he really wants to do. He can always do music later."
"Very true." Sarah agreed.

Richie knew the difficult choice Caleb had to make. At that age he also wanted to play music for the rest of his life but it's a though field to breakthrough from and he also had picked another road at first. After two years of college, he took a chance to be world famous. Who knows, maybe Caleb would do so too. As a father, he'd be supportive to his son no matter what decision he made.

Chapter Sixty-two

Gently, Sarah laid her son in his small baby bed. He had fallen asleep a while ago but to her it seemed he'd be more comfortable in his own bed.

As she watched him sleep in his bed, it became obvious how much he had grown in the past few months. He was even starting to move on his own now.

Just as she expected when she walked out of Daniel's room, she received a phone call. Quickly she grabbed it out of her pocket and answered it as she walked back to her bedroom.

"Did you get to watch?" Richie opened with.
"Yeah. Danny loved it." Sarah answered him, sitting down on their bed.
"Danny? We're shortening it now?"
"It's cute."
"Okay. You let him watch?"
"He was watching with me and your mom. He was down on his play mat while we watched, turned up the volume and he loved it."
Richie smiled, picturing his son.
"He really knows it's you."

Sarah went on to describe how she was watching her husband on a laptop with Joan. They sat on the couch in the living room with the laptop on the coffee table, the volume turned up load. Daniel laid on a soft playing mat. With every guitar solo Richie made, Daniel tried to turn to his side, then fell to his belly. Sarah had turned him back to his back every time he did so but Daniel continued to try to get closer to where the music was coming from. After a few tries, Sarah had picked him up and held him in her lap as she watched her husband perform at a promotional concert in London. It was amazing to see how her 3 month old son was reacting to music and mostly music his father played.

"He's gonna be a musical talent." Richie predicted.
"You think so? Babies might just like music."
"Maybe."

A few hours later Sarah was back to being busy with her little boy.

She loved to watch him grow and her parenting books told her all about what he should be doing. Even with those books, she had a feeling she should know more about her child's development. It gave her a few ideas but right now Daniel was awake and would need attention for the next few hours.

While preparing dinner, Sarah made sure her older boys were babysitting the smallest one. Her idea that started in the living room, kept on rolling in her mind. It developed a way it could become reality. After all, she always wanted to go back to college and learn something. College wouldn't be a place for that now, that's what Caleb was going to do in the fall. She'd feel out of place at a college at this age but she also only wanted to learn for her own. Starting a career wasn't what she wanted to do anymore. Being a mother was all she wanted right now and a little more knowledge about children.

For now she kept her idea quiet, talking to Richie about it would help a lot. She could learn something entirely new that would benefit all of them even if she didn't put it into practice. She had already proven that she could maintain a good job and be a responsible employee. That part in her life was over now.

Now was time for family.

Chapter Sixty-one

"You'll be gone almost all week?" Ava asked astonished by what she had just been told by her father.
"It's just a little promo and you'll be staying with your mom anyway."

The family was having dinner only a week since new year's. Their vacation in Hawaii was over and everyone had gone back to school.

Ava looked up at her father sitting opposite of her. How couldn't he know? She was going to say it. He needed to know. "But you never spend time with me anymore!" She said in a quivering voice. Before she could let on how upset she was, she rose from her chair and left the dining room.

Richie looked at the empty chair, taken aback. He didn't spend time with her? What was he trying to do right now then?

He turned his head to face Sarah, a confused look on his face. What just happened? He only said he needed to go to Europe next week. The tour wasn't starting yet, it was just a week.

"I guess I should go talk to her."
Sarah nodded. "Yes, you probably should." She had a feeling about what was wrong. Even though it seemed a bit late to feel that way. They had been married for over a year now, Ava should be used to that by now.
Richie put his cutlery down and got up to walk to Ava's room.

The two boys at the table had started talking again. Sarah had never noticed them feeling unhappy about their family situation. Maybe boys took it differently.

Softly he knocked on the white painted door at the end of the hallway.

"Go away." Ava's voice said from inside the room.
"Come on Ava, we obviously need to talk about this." He knew his daughter well and could already imagine the seat she was sitting in. The chair had been one of her silly ideas, at least to him, when he had bought the house. He still didn't understand what was so comfortable about a ball shaped chair that hung safely from the ceiling. Except that it might give a surrounded feeling.

Since Ava didn't answer, he carefully opened the door. He had been right, there she sat, all cudfled up in a ball shaped chair.

"You're not supposed to come in 'til I say you can."
"You didn't answer me anymore." He took the desk chair and put it down in front of her. As he sat down, he could see tearstains on his daughter's lovely face. It stung, it hurt him.
"What's wrong?" He asked to start their conversation.
Ava shrugged.
"If it's bad enough to cry about, you need to tell me." Richie tried to get an answer but didn't succeed. She obviously didn't want to talk about it. "Why do you think I dont spend enough time with you?"
"Because you don't."
Her accusing voice, almost hurt as much as seeing the tearstains, if not more.
"We spend time together." Richie defended.
"Not like we used to."
Richie frowned. "Honey, I've been married for over a year now. It's a bit late to feel jealous of Noah and Caleb."
"I'm not jealous." Ava answered annoyed.
"Is it because I adopted them?"
"No."
Almost afraid to ask, he asked anyway. "Daniel?"
"No. I love Daniel."
"Then what is it?" Richie asked clueless.
Ava's eyes filled with tears.
"You can tell me anything." He reminded her. "What are you missing?"
"When I was little."
"When you were little?" He repeated confused.
"When you were home." Ava clarified, the tears escaped from her eyes.
"I am home."
"But you're leaving again." She said accusingly.

Richie leaned back in the chair as he thought back. The last year he had been busy with his solo album, two years before that he was busy touring and writing more songs. That was all he could remember about the last few years. Music and touring. Sure Ava had been there but he couldn't remember the last time he had been home with her for an entire month. With shared custody, that wasn't even possible.

As the realisation sunk in, he got up from his chair and walked out of the room.

"Dad!"

In his own bedroom he found a photo album, a little older than Ava was herself. He picked it up and carried it back to Ava's room.

She had moved from the chair to her bed, where she layed on her stomach, her head sunk in the pillow she was holding on to.

He sat down on the bed and stroked her back. "Honey, I wasn't leaving you." He clarified.
Ava wiped her eyes before looking up. "You still have that?" She sounded surprised.
Richie frowned. "Of course I do, it's got your whole life in it, until digital photographs took over the world." He opened it to the first page, where Ava's life had started. A blurry black and white picture. The first time they had found out about Ava. The picture was so blurry, he had pointed out with a pen where embryo Ava exactly was.

She sat up and leaned against the wall.

Richied moved on the bed until he was right next to her. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close until she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I thought we could remember all the time we had together. I can't change the tour anymore now but I'd do anything for you and if that's what you want me to do, I'll do it."
Ava didn't answer but pointed at the picture. "You really had to point me out?"
Richie chuckled, "Your mom was getting annoyed that I had to ask everytime." He paused not sure if he should continue or not. "I couldnt see Daniel either on those first pictures."
Ava smiled a little.
He hoped that made her feel less left out.

They sat together as they leafed through Ava's baby pictures. A lot had changed since then but his daughter was still just as beautiful as she was on her first day. That first day was the first day she amazed him and she had never stopped doing that.

"That's my favorite picture." Ava pointed out.
Richie smiled, "Of all of these?"
"No, just of when I was that age."
"I like it too. You really were still my baby girl then."
"I'll always be your baby girl."
"Forever." Richie confirmed. "Nothing could ever change that."
He looked at the picture. He could remember the moment but was sure Ava couldn't. "Why's that your favorite?"
"Cause you're really being a daddy there. You took the time for something moms usually do."
The words stung again but he could also understand them. She was sort of right.
Ava looked up at her dad. "I love you daddy."
He smiled at her tender words, the days that she still called him daddy seemed far away but right now it felt just like then. "I love you so much baby girl." He let go of the photo album and wrapped both arms around his daughter as he hugged and held her.
"I'm sorry." He added softly.